Tony Mercer.

nik-oakvale:

tonymercer:

What? Jealous of our love and affection for each other? Aw, don’t be, you know I love you too. I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who you can call ‘Team Barbie’ with. See, this is why you are invited in the first place. You know us so well. Just don’t let word get around, way too many irrelevant people showed up the last time. Wow! So exciting, I can barely sit still. Tell me more?

Definitely not jealous. I don’t need that much affection from someone. But thanks. Team Barbie? So I’d need a blonde friend? Oh, of course not. Wouldn’t want more than just a few people. Are you referring to Ryan’s birthday? Yeah, that was a bit out of hand. Well, and spending a lot of time with Adrian. That has to be more fun than whatever you have been doing. 

You’re bluffing. Seriously, it’s okay. I mean, yeah, Barbie is typically blonde. You guys could have your own t-shirts and wristbands. Alright, cool. Yeah, I am. I remember how packed it was, though I don’t remember the actual events happening. Except for a few, but I think you know which I am talking about. I don’t know who the hell this Adrian guy is, but, I’m sure Liz and I could top whichever fun you’re having.

nik-oakvale:

tonymercer:

Wow, did you really just call a Rytone party lame? I think you’re the first. Damn, you’re playing hard to get with this? Alright, whatever rocks your boat. I mean, who knows, right? Dogs apparently are very loyal. Yeah? And what are you doing that is so enjoyable?

Rytone? Do you two actually have a name for that lame bromance you have? That’s hilarious. I’ve always been known as a trendsetter. Fine. I’ll come to your get together, although I’m sure that you two are just using this as an excuse to spend time with each other before the wedding and the baby. Spending most of my time inside watching movies… 

What? Jealous of our love and affection for each other? Aw, don’t be, you know I love you too. I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who you can call ‘Team Barbie’ with. See, this is why you are invited in the first place. You know us so well. Just don’t let word get around, way too many irrelevant people showed up the last time. Wow! So exciting, I can barely sit still. Tell me more?

nik-oakvale:

tonymercer:

Such an optimist. Yes, I guess we could. Speaking of enjoyment - you’re coming tomorrow, right? Me, Ryan and a bunch of others are just gonna ditch the bonfire for a small get together at my house. Zeus, I hope he hasn’t replaced me in your life just yet. Nothing much, actually. My life isn’t all that exciting, unfortunately.

Coming… for a get together? Hmmmm… I don’t know. Sounds pretty lame. But maybe I’ll stop by? A bonfire does sound pretty fun though. Don’t worry. I doubt a dog could replace you…. Though he might come close. Jeez, Tone. Maybe you should come enjoy summer with me. 

Wow, did you really just call a Rytone party lame? I think you’re the first. Damn, you’re playing hard to get with this? Alright, whatever rocks your boat. I mean, who knows, right? Dogs apparently are very loyal. Yeah? And what are you doing that is so enjoyable?

nik-oakvale:

tonymercer:

Exactly. But I think we may have just jinxed it. Hey, Nik. What’s been going on with you, Blondie?

Damn, At least we could enjoy it while we could, right? Oh you know, enjoying not being stuck in high school anymore. Having fun with Zeus. What’s up with you, Mercer? 

Such an optimist. Yes, I guess we could. Speaking of enjoyment - you’re coming tomorrow, right? Me, Ryan and a bunch of others are just gonna ditch the bonfire for a small get together at my house. Zeus, I hope he hasn’t replaced me in your life just yet. Nothing much, actually. My life isn’t all that exciting, unfortunately.

nik-oakvale:

tonymercer:

I like it. It’s nice for people to shut up once in awhile.

That’s true. It’s nice to not hear the garbage spewing out of their mouths for once I guess. Hey, Tony. 

Exactly. But I think we may have just jinxed it. Hey, Nik. What’s been going on with you, Blondie?

nik-oakvale:

I like it. It’s nice for people to shut up once in awhile.

penelopeburns:

tonymercer:

Because I am a nice person.

Ha, sure you are. And why would I need nonalcoholic drinks?

…because of… the thing inside of you?

penelopeburns:

tonymercer:

I see how it is, Penelope. And to think I was going to prepare nonalcoholic drinks for you.

And why would you do something like that?

Because I am a nice person.

elizabeth-abrams:

tonymercer:

Damn, that is sad. I’m not one to talk, though. Studying for the finals, which is always such a blast. What are you doing this weekend?

I know and it’s upsetting, my social butterfly wings haven’t been in the mood to flap lately. Yes, finals are always the highlight of the school year and it’s about time you finally realized that. This weekend? Nothing as of right now. How come?

Did you just say that your wings haven’t been flapping, Liz? You’re adorable. No, it really is. It’s the best part of the entire year, I can’t even handle my excitement. Well, Ry and I are throwing a party. It’s a given that you’re invited.

penelopeburns:

tonymercer:

Jeez, Pen. He pays enough attention to you as is. If I lose my best friend, I’m looking at you.

You don’t come out of your room enough for him to even pay attention to you. So I wouldn’t be complaining, Tony.

I see how it is, Penelope. And to think I was going to prepare nonalcoholic drinks for you.

penelopeburns:

Jeez, Pen. He pays enough attention to you as is. If I lose my best friend, I’m looking at you.

elizabeth-abrams:

tonymercer:

I guess my timing is impeccable, then. What’s going on with you?

Nothing much, sadly. What about you?

Damn, that is sad. I’m not one to talk, though. Studying for the finals, which is always such a blast. What are you doing this weekend?

elizabeth-abrams:

tonymercer:

Hey, Lizard.

Look who it is. For a moment, I thought I was going to have to file for a missing boyfriend report.

I guess my timing is impeccable, then. What’s going on with you?

elizabeth-abrams:

Hey, Lizard.

ryan-salvetine:

tonymercer:

You’re right, I am the best.

Let’s just be thankful that we are male, because being pregnant must be painful as hell. I won’t touch it’s soft spot. In fact, I won’t even go near it because I refuse to babysit. Get Nik or someone to do it, like damn. Three months. We have to embrace these last three months, Ryan. Man, I’m really going to miss you. Jon? Jon Blackburn, right? Joanna’s ex? I don’t know, being in a relationship with your bed takes work. If it was, she’d have to live with that mistake her entire life. 

At 1st grade comebacks.

It’s like trying to shove a watermelon through an orange sized hole, man. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. You have to do it, you’re always available anyways. Unless you want to double date with me and Pen with Liz. I don’t think Nik would even want to do it. Imagining Nik near my kid is just really weird, with how hostile she is to Pen and everything. Throw me another party, man. Bachelor party too. You act like I’m never going to be around again. Yeah, Joanna’s ex. Claire’s current boyfriend. You would know about things like that. Which is why I’m not raging about it in her face right now.

You can’t just rephrase things like that.

Can you please not. Sometimes, you are so awkward to be around. Watermelons and oranges, Ryan? Really? You had to ruin my two favorite fruits like that? Just kidding, they’re not my favorites, but still. If you want that by baby to grow up in one piece, I suggest you take it elsewhere. I’m terrible with children, I’d be surprised if it doesn’t die while I was babysitting. A bachelor party? Damn, the perks of being the best man. That, I can do. I should know a lot of things, but I don’t. I don’t know how I would be able to keep in my rage. 

elizabeth-abrams:

tonymercer:

Good, I don’t like it when you seem down. In my opinion, girls are much hotter with a smile on their faces. I bet you did great, Liz. Have a little faith. Well, I would hope so, but I barely studied.

I hate being down and I’m sure plenty of others could say the same, but I never did thank you for comforting me, so thank you. Oh, really? I think that same thing could be said towards guys. I’ll try, but I make no promises - We all know how terrible I am when it comes to school test. Do you ever study, Toe? Or am I just not around whenever you pick up a book?

You don’t have to thank me. It’s a given that I would comfort you, silly. I mean, yeah, everything is usually better when people are happy. But, that’s not how it is in most cases. Come on, Liz. You work hard. You can do it. I rarely study, but when you’re around, I can’t focus on textbooks.

ryan-salvetine:

tonymercer:

Nice comeback, where’d you get that from? A first grader? Thought so. 

And what about their little hands and feet? Seriously, I… man, I’m so sorry. Please, please, please don’t talk about the soft spot. That is just downright… no. I don’t hold babies, and this is exactly why. And sleep well for now, because once that thing comes out of Pen, you’re gonna be lacking a whole lot of sleep. Fourteen sounds logical. God, your wedding is forcing me to put so much effort into this. It’s a good thing I give a fuck about your existence. Hector, obviously. 

I learned from the best, you.

How are they so tiny… Like come on… It’s ridiculous. When you do babysit, you better not fucking poke that spot out of curiosity. I will kill you if you do. I am not going to come home to a dead baby because of how curious you got. I know, I’ve heard the stories. I’ve got a good three months before it pops out though. Maybe I should learn from Jon, get into a committed relationship with my bed. If you didn’t give a fuck about my existence, we’d have a major problem. Like I said, I don’t know. She obviously doesn’t want it to be his though.

You’re right, I am the best.

Let’s just be thankful that we are male, because being pregnant must be painful as hell. I won’t touch it’s soft spot. In fact, I won’t even go near it because I refuse to babysit. Get Nik or someone to do it, like damn. Three months. We have to embrace these last three months, Ryan. Man, I’m really going to miss you. Jon? Jon Blackburn, right? Joanna’s ex? I don’t know, being in a relationship with your bed takes work. If it was, she’d have to live with that mistake her entire life.